It's currently 10:36 pm and my day (or night) has just started. Right now, I should have been writing something, or reading, but I chose to share the words of my current forebodings.
It was the first week of the second semester and nothing is really special about it, except the fact that I am again, on the great challenge of adjusting to new people. I used to be such a good chameleon, mixing and hanging out with all sorts of person, but due to an inclement change of my philosophy as I entered college, I find it already unsettling. Life already taught me that people will go eventually, carrying with them all your trust and other shenanigans brought by emotional attachment, and a part of me is already trying to avoid that every now and then. "Attachment is a poison." - Gautama Buddha
What I have done so far is to smile-greet-smile-greet, no formal conversations (hopefully yet!). I caught myself not knowing what to say next, which again, I find quite bewildering since I'm a bit gregarious. Predicaments were all running through my mind every now and then that the wall it have constructed is becoming more and more palpable. It seems that within a year, my personality have gone such a huge turmoil that it rotated a total of 180 degrees, am I experiencing adolescence just now?
My passion as well, have been greatly affected by this withering. I am suppose to join a writing competition, but due to my self-pessimism, I and myself have agreed that it didn't make it to my self-inflicted standards, and neither it will with the judge's. It reflects on my academics too. Boo.
This blog, as you have noticed, have joined the changes. Since the day I have invested on buying a domain, it had lost all its ideals. It became too commercial, too mainstream, to the point that I find it wrong to put this personal post while in fact this should be the very reason of this site. My sheer indecisive nature is the culprit.
I honestly have more to say, but I don't think you guys will be able to handle the sudden outburst of emotions. Hahaha. Please do pray for my fast recovery. Hahaha.
Posted by Rhea